Card Games
by Woodrokiro
Summary: For a man with such boundless energy, Ichigo is capable of extraordinary stillness. Written for (tumblr) deathberryprompts' queen. (fixed coding error)


**A/N Update: When you think it might be easier to just copy and paste a story from Tumblr =_= sorry about that guys. Hopefully this'll work!**

 **...**

For a man with such boundless energy, Ichigo is a man capable of extraordinary stillness; and honestly, it is these moments Rukia fears for him the most.

While it's not always a bad thing, it is unsettling: the way he closes in on himself, the way he sits without his characteristic drumming of the fingers on any given surface, the way he won't even talk to _her_ -they're all signals that he's thinking about something to the extent he never really cared to in other situations. It is common knowledge Ichigo Kurosaki has a history with recklessness, making impulsive decisions at every turn-but only Rukia knows about these quiet moments and how eery they are because while they're not always a bad thing they usually absolutely 97% _are_.

She wakes up in his bed early one morning to find his side cold. Shivering, she blearily wonders where he might possibly be at this hour before she catches the glow of his outline at his desk, working at something by lamplight.

"Ichigo?" She groans as she forces herself out of bed enough to pad over to him, fondly exasperated that of course he would do something _this late at night._ She kisses the top of his head. "Hello there. What are you doing up this early?"

He doesn't respond, and over his head she can see playing cards in a strange ladder pattern. Odd. She's seen cards like that once or twice in the living world, but only played between groups of people. Never just one player.

"It's called solitaire," he eventually answers, seeming to know the question in her head. "It's a game you can play by yourself."

"Oh... Interesting." She throws a glance at his alarm clock on the desk. "But it's also four in the morning. Couldn't this wait until...?"

"It helps me think."

Ah. She carefully resists the urge to sigh and walks across the room to drag another chair over. These are never her favorite situations with him to deal with-she would much rather deal with his obtuse nature than this and _that's saying something_ -but she knows how to handle this side in a way that doesn't end with him imploding. Nobody else can say the same, and that brings a whole new complication to an already complicated... Situation. _Relationship_ , a voice whispers to her before she quickly shuts it down, trying instead to focus on the cards.

"Well, then, are you going to keep moping or are you going to tell me how to play?"

She expects him to scoff, roll his eyes, bicker something back at her, _anything_ -but he continues to stare at the game. Her good humor is gone, replaced by more worry as she touches the hem of his sleeve.

"Hey. Talk to me. What's going on?"

A beat. He slowly takes her hand, twining his large fingers through her smaller ones like he usually does and Rukia just thinks _thank goodness_ when he answers.

"So... These cards started out in a stacked pattern, right? And the goal of the game is to get all the cards into these four piles within a certain alternating order-red, black, red, etcetera- and from high to low. Make sense? The challenge is that these unflipped cards here can't be flipped until the card on top of it moves, and that can only move if there's an opposite-colored, one card higher put it on top of in another pile. So... yeah. It's really hard to shift things when you don't know your other options."

She follows. She just doesn't quite see how it corresponds with his mood yet. "Ah. So... wouldn't there be times that the player is stuck? When there aren't any more moves that can be played?"

"Right... Yeah. That's the problem. They have solitaire games and apps you can play on the internet-that computer downstairs I showed you- and on those no matter how difficult the game, there is always a way to win. The game rigs the cards that way. But with a hand shuffled deck like this... You don't know your chances. There might not be a way to win." He flexes his fingers in hers, tightening his grip. "So where I'm having a problem is with this king of hearts, up here in the top. I need to get him a place where this queen of spades-here-can follow. After that everybody else will just... Follow suit. Everything will be fine."

"Hmm. Well, the king of hearts can also pair with a queen of-what is that, cloves?- Right? That should make your chances..." she starts and then it hits her.

He watches her expression carefully. "No," he says slowly, the most gentle she has ever heard from him. "No, it can't be her. He needs the queen of spades."

She swallows with a hard knot in her throat, suddenly furious with him: furious with the man he's become, how she's watched him grow, how much she loves him.

"Then why play this way? You stated yourself that there are games on this... this 'internet' thing where you at least _know_ you have a chance at winning, why waste your time at this desk when-"

"Because I need to find a solution in the impossible. I need to know that I can solve this." _That this was meant to be._ She hears it so clearly, he may as well not have said it. She stands, suddenly, pulling at his hand because at this moment she just can't-

"Ichigo, please. This... This problem or game or what-have-you will be here in the morning. _Please_. Come to bed?"

He visibly hesitates before giving in, clutching to her under the sheets like she is his lifeline (" _Maybe you are,"_ that voice again, and she squashes it as soon as it begins, choosing instead to kiss his forehead an infinite number of times as he repeats _I'll figure it out, I'll figure it out_ like a mantra).

...

Seven months later, Renji asks for her hand in marriage and she says yes.

Ichigo throws away his cards.


End file.
